What hurts the most
by TDropofindygo
Summary: Parvati gets desperate in her love and decides to polyjuice into someone else.


Written for the BS Card Game Challenge

Ok, It's first story which Im posting here also English is not my mother tongue so please forgive me all mistakes.

**What hurts the most**

_„What hurts the most_  
_Was being so close_  
_And having so much to say_  
_And watching you walk away"_

_Rascal Flatts – What hurts the most_

If someone once told me that I would fall in love with you, I would have never believed it. Yet day after day, month after month, year after year ... you have become the center of my world.

In fairy tales, romances, even in the stories of older people love is always described as something beautiful, which makes you soar without wings. Love makes everything so beautiful and easy and you deeply believe that nothing can destroy that castle full of red hearts, rose petals and chocolates. Love is a paradise and a blessing to your soul. Something what is worth to fight for. I always dreamed that when I grow up and fall in love, it will be exactly like one of those stories. I thought you'd be my prince. But love is not like that.

When Lavender for the first time said that she likes you, I felt a twinge inside of me. The first subtle signal that you are not indifferent to me. Lavender could talk endlessly about you, and I could not resist to listen. I never said what I feel for you, that is why her constant admiration and gossip about you was a great excuse for me so I could also have something to say without being suspected. Such an arrangement did not bother me. Lavender sometimes could be blind and deaf, if she was excited enough. She never thought that I can also feel something for you, she just though I am enthusiastic for her. I never said otherwise. And to have this secret hurt.

But I forgot about it very quickly, when you and Lav begun to date. I felt so betrayed and angry, even though I should not. And I hated Lavender because she reached for something that I dreamed about for some time. Your every kiss, every hug, every smile was like a stab in my heart and there was so many stabs that I felt that my heart was rather a big hole than anything else. I even did not have anyone to tell about this and cry on her shoulder, because the only person to whom I trusted enough to confide in was sitting on your lap, kissing you enthusiastically. So I hated her and I hated you and I did not feel guilty. And it hurt.

And in an instant, everything changed. Lavender was crying on my shoulder, and you were holding Hermione's hand. I began to wonder if I could have even more bad luck. I was sorry for Lav, but I was also sorry for myself. And I also had another person to hate.

I did not need tarot cards or looking into a crystal ball to know that I'll never have a chance, that you will never look my way. I do not know if it's because of befuddled with pain mind or wounded heart, that pushed me to make this decision. I wanted to have you for myself even for a moment. Even for an hour that a Polyjuice Potion offered me.

I found my chance when one evening Harry was busy with Ginny, and Hermione worked with students from other houses on the farewell party for the seventh years. Common room was almost empty and you were sitting with a bored expression reviewing the Daily Prophet forgotten by one of the students.

"Ron? What are you doing here?" I asked, trying to sound like Hermione. "Didn't you say that you'll be writing your essay for Potions?" I knew it because I heard Hermione saying that just for this reason she would let you be and not drag you to help with the party.

"I was just about to do it!" you said defensively, quickly putting down the newspaper. "Um, you forgot something?"

"Quick, hide behind the sofa!" said one second year girl _really_ draging her friend behind the sofa. Were they expecting me to hex you for not doing something that you said you will do?

"In fact, I did as I have to take something from the dormitory." I cocked my head slightly deciding not to think about girls behavior, and looked at you.

"Ah, yes. Ok. So... Maybe I should go and write this essay..." you said nervously, and set off toward the stairs. You behaved oddly, too awkward for anyone not to notice, and I began to wonder if you had a quarrel earlier that day. You passed me without saying another word with your eyes fixed on the ground and started to climb the stairs. I knew that I could not let you go just like that. Not yet. I ran behind you.

"Ron. Wait." I said, grabbing you by the arm.

"Yeah?"

"Maybe ... wouldn't you walk me back to the meeting?" I asked timidly, not really knowing what else to say. I do not know whether this shyness was Hermione's style. We were not friends and I didn't know her that well, to know how she would behave in the company of someone she likes. But you just smiled and said:

"Sure. Let's go."

I smiled in response, and remembering that I had to take something undefined from the dormitory, I ran back and forth as soon as I could. We left the dormitory and holding our hands we headed towards room where the meeting was held. As the room was located in the hallway behind the Great Hall, I knew it would take about twenty minutes to get there.

Your hand was large and warm. I smiled to myself, feeling the happiness growing in my chest. Someone would say that holding someone's hand is nothing special, but it's not true. You held my hand, talking about Harry and Ginny, making plans for the future and you looked at me with shining eyes, grinning as the very idea of the bright future without war made you happy enough. And I felt like the world was mine. A world in which there was nothing and no one but us.

I could walk with you through the corridors of Hogwarts for ages and I do not think I would ever got tired of it. I could walk holding your hand and listening to your voice and wanting nothing else. I would laugh with you and to you. And I could tell you about so many things that I would like you to know. I wish I could tell you about myself, about who I am - Parvati Patil, a girl who fallen in love with you.

But Hogwarts is not so large as it may seem and faster than I wanted we were right next to the great hall. I was not happy anymore. I wanted to cry with grief and injustice. Why could not I have you? Why was it always someone else who could be with you? Even my best friend could… At this point I began to wonder if it was a good idea to polyjuice into Hermione, because I realized that the desire for you that so far I have felt will become a pain of knowledge of what I could have. The memories that I just have created will be killing me. I would miss you but I would be never able to feel you like that again. That hurts.

You looked at me, your hand lightly touching my cheek, as if you feared that too strong touch can hurt me.

"Herm, are you all right?" You asked with obvious concern in your eyes. I could feel tears gather in my own. Not trusting my voice I just nodded and hugged you. I had to. I needed to know that you are real, you still there for a few more minutes. You hugged me back, stroking my hair. I wanted this moment to last forever.

"Don't worry, Ron. I'm just emotional for not good reason" I said finally and looked at you smiling.

You looked at me for a moment as if to make sure that I was really all right, and nothing terrible happened to me about what you do not know. Suddenly you pulled me even closer and kissed. It was a simple kiss, but contained within it everything you wanted to give: the care, safety and love. In that kiss I given you my all, my heart and soul.

"The next time we will be in Hogsmeade I'll buy you a big chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream, so do not be sad, okay?" you said cheerfully and pulled away. "Promise?"

"Promise." I said smiling even if I felt like crying.

"See you later then" you waved and turned away. I looked as you slowly walk away but I so desperately didn't want you to, so I called you. There was something that I wanted to say.

"Ron!"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." I said and you grinned at me.

"I love you too." You turned away and disappeared.

My time was over and the first tears escaped my eyes.


End file.
